Tegan Stover

For all the times I have let fear win,

how many opportunities have I lost?

For all the times I’ve betrayed myself,

musing that I have an easier time

holding myself accountable to others

than holding myself accountable to me,

how long will it take to build that trust back up?

For all the times I centered others’ experiences

at the expense of my own,

have I truly allowed others to bear witness

to my experiences, candidly?

I have to remind myself

that how others treat me

has no reflection on how

I should actually be treated.

And that I should not internalize that.

I have to remind myself

that I am healing.

That there are so many

who are healing.

And there are those who aren’t.

And that no matter how much

you love some people,

you can’t control whether or not

they heal.

We’re all scared.

None of us know what we’re doing.

All we can do is our best,

which is what I’m trying to do,

even when the result of that

is churning out a corny

and navel-gazing poem

about self-love and self-actualization.